Musings Soup: Pregnancy and The Bachelorette

Time management is hard when you’re preparing to move to Alaska, raising a toddler, and pregnant with a baby who refuses to share energy.

Thus, it’s time I formally announce that I am done recapping this season of The Bachelorette. I was really hoping to make it through Fantasy Suites, the final episode before the Leykos embark on our cross-country road trip. (This Sunday WHAT?!) However, last week I took an impromptu trip to Canada that lasted longer than anticipated (thanks WestJet!), followed by a family weekend in North Carolina. I didn’t even have time to watch Hometowns until a few hours before Fantasy Suites on Monday.

Then, as I was watching Fantasy Suites, I realized that I don’t currently have the emotional or mental capacity to capture the full scope of Hannah’s relationships. I have so many mixed feelings that my already mushy brain basically turned into a thin broth as I digested the windmill and Luke and everything in between.

Am I allowed to say that I don’t think Luke OR Hannah were “right” in that whole scenario? Probably not.

Anyway, we all know I was rooting for Pilot Pete as Bachelor 20, but turns out his crazy ex-girlfriend was looking for 15 minutes– and people love to believe the first side of the story they hear– so it looks like he’ll be out of the running. It’ll be a tight race between Tyler and Mike, if Tyler doesn’t end up with Hannah (which I don’t think he does).

Bachelor Nation, I love you. I do. But can I take a moment for some personal reflection? Thanks. Super nice of you to listen.

I am currently 15 weeks pregnant and absolutely excited and terrified. Having one child is…a lot. Having two? Handling the newborn sleep deprivation with another kid to run after? Going into labor in the middle of January in A-freakin-Laska? Giving birth in a remote town that would have to helicopter us out if we need a NICU? 

Lots of other people have had two or three or thirteen kids and figured it out, so I’m sure we will, too. But it’s still pretty daunting.

The other fear is the health of the baby, as I’ve seen so many friends go through heartbreaking second trimester loss. We have a final checkup tomorrow so I can be cleared for 14 days of straight travel, and I can’t help but feel nervous. Maybe I was naive with Anders, or maybe I’m just a bit scarred by my miscarriage last fall, but I’m far more anxious about our baby’s health this pregnancy.

The good news about the check up tomorrow is that there’s a small chance we’ll learn the gender! Very small. I’m not even sure if we’ll get a full ultrasound, or if they’ll just use the heartbeat wand, but theoretically our baby is big enough to see the goods IF we get an ultrasound! Eek!

Most people assume that we want a girl—or at least, I want a girl—since we already have a precious, perfect little boy. If you’d asked me before having children, I would’ve agreed that having a boy and a girl would be ideal. Now, though, I truly genuinely 1000000% do not care. I love the idea of Anders having a little brother. Brotherhood is such a unique bond, and I’d be thrilled to have another sweet boy around. On the flip side, of course it would be a fun new adventure to have a little girl in the house! And my shopping would be out. of. control.

Ultimately, I just hope for a healthy baby who God grants me the gift of raising. I know He’ll give us whatever gender is right for our family and right for the child. I’m just so excited to find out which that will be, because I’m a planner! And a day-dreamer, and I find it way easier to daydream when I know gender.

Since I didn’t say the Due Date in the official social media announcement and some of you have asked, Baby L is due on January 6, 2020! The original due date was actually December 24th (Anders’ birthday!), but they took away two weeks (BOOOO) due to measurements. I’m not convinced that the babe won’t arrive in December…after all, December is the month of the Leykos. Our anniversary, Anders’ birthday, Aaron’s birthday, Christmas…why not one more thing?

Anyhoo, say a prayer as we embark on our road trip to Alaska! Actually, say an even bigger prayer that everything fits in the car.

Here’s the itinerary:

Va Beach

Boardman, OH (Aaron’s fam!)

Chicago

Des Moines

Souix Falls

Mt Rushmore

Yellowstone

Spokane

Seattle

Ketchikan, Alaska!

Love you all! Thanks for being part of my journey of life, with or without Bachelorette recaps. 😉