A New Direction for The Expert Beginner

Don’t let the title of this post fool you. I’m not rebranding (technically) or making some drastic change to The Expert Beginner! HowEVER, you may have noticed that I’ve been a bit less consistent with blogging this year. I think after 10 years of writing…in some seasons once a month, and in others, every single day…I found myself frozen.

When I wrote my book last year, I wrote with the complete intention of bettering other people’s lives. I included research, pulled from stories in my own life, and wove together something I’m super proud of. The past few years, my blog has also been a place where I hoped people would find themselves learning, growing, and—of course—laughing. I’ve wanted it to reflect my experience of always beginning something new, like babies and Alaska and all the change that comes with being a military spouse.

That said, the world has become such a complicated place with social media and loud opinions and conflict…and I’m the kind of person who absolutely freezes when I’m overwhelmed. I’ve shared about this on the blog before—so to many of you reading, that’s not new information. Of course I care about everything going on in the world, but we all have different personalities and different thresholds for staying mentally healthy while engaging in the many, many problems that need solutions in our country and on this planet. I’m the kind of person who does challenge myself to have a voice on what I believe, but I don’t like to do that on the internet (very much). In person, no problem. But my mental health has to matter—for myself and for my kids—so I usually choose the real-life medium when it comes to being vocal about difficult matters.

Many people will say that’s a privilege—and there’s no doubt I am privileged. However, I do believe that it’s far more important to be engaged in face-to-face conversations, make decisions with time and money that reflect our beliefs, and work toward a more unified, peaceful, loving, open, and inclusive world that starts with personal daily decisions, choosing involvement with organizations that make tangible change, and raising our children with intention.

The big piece of all of this that many people brush off is how vastly different every person’s personality and needs might be. Some folks are mentally healthy while taking on internet trolls, loudly proclaiming their beliefs on any and every issue, and being online advocates. That’s great! However, we must must must respect that we’re all built differently. I feel like I’m going to vomit any time I see any debate—even one I’m not part of—online. I get physically ill from controversy. Again, this doesn’t mean I don’t care about things (in many cases I feel sick because I care SO very much) or that I don’t engage in person, but when it comes to the internet…I’m just not built for it.

So where does that leave my blog? I want to write, but the online space has become so volatile that I worry EVERY time I write that I’ll accidentally hurt someone, say something that can be taken out of context, or get ridiculed simply for having a different belief. I know, I know…it’ shouldn’t matter. Just be me, and be willing to learn and grow if I screw up. But for my own mental health and how I’m wired—it DOES matter.

Again, I’m proud of my book and so much of what I’ve written in the past. I’ve engaged to the best of my ability, even on difficult subjects. I want to keep doing that, but I do feel a bit stuck at this point. Anything I think of to write about makes me feel panicky. Besides, one of my favorite parts of writing is to use humor to create a community of people who relate to each other…and for whatever reason, my fear of “the internet” has dug its claws into me this past year so much that I’m having a hard time finding levity in my writing.

SO. With that said, I want to go back to my roots with this blog for a little while.

I want to truly…blog. About my life.

It’ll be a lot more personal. Not oversharey…I’m not a big fan of cringe culture. No one needs to hear about my kids’ poop. But I’ll simply write about whatever we’ve been up to—just like I did when I first started blogging a decade ago on my first blog called Shannon’s NYC, when I documented my years living in New York City in my early 20s. It may not be as universally appealing, and that’s okay. If I lose readers, I COMPLETELY understand.

I’ll mostly be writing for myself for awhile…publicly. Writing and sharing is woven into who I am. I’ve accepted that I’m not a deeply private person. I’d love to be more mysterious and cool, but turns out that’s not who I am. Hence why I covered my middle school planner with pictures I printed at CVS. I didn’t even need social media to put my whole life on display! So an online journal of sorts make sense to me. Get ready for kind of boring, kind of hilarious, kind of stressful life in Alaska raising 3 babies. No major themes and takeaways with each essay. Just life recorded…usually with a comedic perspective, I’m sure.

I so appreciate all of you who’ve ridden the waves with this blog over the last 10 years. I hope this next change in weather won’t kick you overboard, but if it does, just find another boat to climb aboard. If you’re alive and well—I’ll be happy!

On that note, MERRY CHRISTMAS. In the next two weeks we have:

• Kids’ Christmas concert at school

• Kids’ birthday parties at school (remember my oldest babes share a birthday)

• Kids’ birthday party at home

• Our 6th wedding anniversary

• Traveling cross-country with 3 kids and a dog on a plane

• Kids’ real birthdays on Christmas Eve

• Christmas

• Aaron’s birthday

• Traveling BACK across the country (18 hours) with 3 kids and a dog on a plane

So…plenty to document. Buckle up—and see you back on here soon!