Time Management Boils Down to a Belief, Not An Action

Time management is less about planning and more about believing.

Let me explain:

Last week, my 5-year-old let out a wail from the foyer.

“You okay, bud?” I called out.

“My socks!! It’s too hard!!”

I put down the water bottle I was filling up and went to see him. He was struggling to get his socks on, and kept saying, “I can’t do it!”

Now, I’m not one to never help my kids. Life is hard enough…sometimes I’m going to help the poor kid put on some socks. I trust he won’t ask me to continue helping him do this in high school.

But I know he’s capable. I’ve watched him put his socks on many times before. This morning, I had the bandwidth to patiently teach him to not give up, so it was a mom won’t be helping kind of a day.

I calmly said, “Bud, I know you can do this. It feels hard, but I want you to keep trying.”

Did he happily respond, “You’re right, Mom. I’ve got this!”?

No! He let out another wail, as though I’d left him in a literal lion’s den.

I said, “I love you so much, but I’m going to go fill up your water bottle. When I come back, I want to see shoes on your feet. You can do this.” And walked away.

What do you know?? By the time I returned in two minutes to check on him, he was velcroing his second shoe onto his floppy little foot. Success!

My own socks-are-too-hard moment

Fast forward to this morning. It’s my first full week back “at work” since moving to Finland. Meaning, the kids are in school, my husband is at work, and there’s enough routine in place that I have four hours of uninterrupted time to get back in the groove of podcasting, writing, answering emails, house chores, etc.

Last night, I definitely felt the Sunday scaries. Little blips of things I need to get done kept popping into my head. I thought about all the emails I need to respond to. Time management suddenly overwhelmed me. I started fretting about marketing my book for next year, recording my first podcast episode in over a month, making reels that aren’t just about living in Finland, drafting a script for a sponsored reel, signing my kids up for the activities they want to do, updating my website, putting away laundry…

It all started coming at me fast!

This morning, I kept thinking, “I can’t! I can’t do this. How did I do it all before??”

Wow, I sound a lot like Warren putting on his socks.

Most of the time, doing something is a choice.

I don’t mean to sound super woo-woo, but I’ve found this quote to be 100% true:

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.

This inspiring phrase is often attributed to Henry Ford…but fun fact, there’s no historical evidence that he was the one to say it. No matter who said it, I’ve seen it’s validity in my life over and over again.

If I believe I can’t possibly implement good time management, then I’m right. If I think I’m not organized enough, smart enough, interesting enough, supported enough, energetic enough, or hard-working enough…then that’s the end of that.

So I had to take a step back this morning and decide:

Do I want to recommit to my work or not?

Do I want to keep doing the podcast, keep showing up on social media, keep writing books, keep blogging, keep making all of this my career?

If yes, then I can do it. I just have to figure out how.

My tried-and-true practice

The good news is that I don’t need to figure anything out from scratch. I just have to rewind my brain to a month or two ago and remember what my time management looked like before my life went into a state of limbo during this move from Alaska to Finland.

First things first, write everything down.

Ah, yes! That’s what I used to do, so let me start there.

Thus, once the kids were in school this morning, I grabbed my trusty planner and listed out everything I could think of that I need to accomplish this week. I’m going to share my list with you so you can get a full picture of how I operate in my planner:

• sponsored reel script
• Substack blog
• weekly newsletter
• prep this week’s episodes on Manychat & make marketing reels
• delete Manychat contacts
• get discount code from podcast guest
• reach out to new podcast guests I’d waitlisted in the spring
• prep, record, & edit two Chai Chats
• record 2-3 decluttering reels
• answer emails (especially Stripe & Shopify emails)
• write 1200 words for my new book project
• collect influencer addresses for marketing Don’t Save the Good Stuff
• update my freebies with the new versions Duo Collective designed for me
• call the afterschool program
• register kids for sports
• put away laundry
• sound check Wednesday episode
• sound check both episodes from editor for next week
• prep sponsors for both episodes next week
• update the website blog
• grocery shop
• meet with preschool teacher

From there, I filled in each day on my calendar from 9:30 a.m. – 1:15 p.m.

Example for Monday:

9:30-10:30 blog (that’s what I’m doing right now!!)

10:30-11 figure out 8-year-old sports registration

11-12 prep this week’s Manychat & marketing reels

12-12:30 email podcast guests

12:30-1:15 draft script for sponsored reel

*afternoon when kids are home: put away laundry & call afterschool program

I did this for every day of the week while keeping priorities in mind, and believe it or not…there’s plenty of time to get everything done! You might be thinking, “But when do you eat?? Shouldn’t you rest??”

I have to ditch these “reasonable” excuses.

I don’t mind eating while I work—I just ate some breakfast as I was typing this. But oftentimes, tasks take less time than I schedule, so I end up with plenty of time to take a 15-20 minute break at some point.

As for rest, I am the queen of rest. It’s a key part of my time management. I read all the time. I take baths. As some of you might remember, I’ve recently begun doing jigsaw puzzles (I still think I might’ve been recently inhabited by an alien). I often do those things when the kids are running around outside or in lieu of T.V. time at night.

One thing I do do during work hours is I get up and stretch between “assignments.” I always take a loop around the house, refill my water, maybe take the dogs outside and watch them run around for a minute. Just something to break things up.

But like anyone with a full-time job, I need to work during working hours. Just because I work for myself doesn’t mean I can shirk my responsibilities. If anything, I need to treat my working hours more seriously.

And also…it’s fun! I am so much happier working on all of this stuff than I am vegging out. There’s a time and a place for all of it, but it’s so satisfying to do what I love, to push myself, to produce results I’m proud of.

Managing last-minute changes

As for unexpected things that pop up? A kid gets sick? I get a call from my dad? A blog takes longer to write than anticipated? Well, the way I see it, I still get a whole lot more done if I try to stick to my schedule than I would if I never tried in the first place.

Sure, most weeks I have to kick certain things down the road because of last-minute changes or unforeseen roadblocks, but I usually hit at least an 80% success rate, and that’s a whole lot better than the 0-10% I’d hit if I gave up because “I can never stick to it!” Time management isn’t about perfection…it’s about doing your best with the time you have.

You CAN do what you want to do.

I’m writing all of this down not only for my own benefit (though it is a fantastic reminder in my own life), but because I want you to know you can do what you want to do, too!

It’s not a matter of you having the same amount of hours and bandwidth that I do. As a matter of fact, I used to work for someone other than myself when I first started this career, so that meant I had far less time. I couldn’t produce three podcast episodes a week or write a book or do all the things I’m doing now. Of course we all must prioritize and manage our time within the constraints we have.

But things shift. Maybe you begin working toward one goal today, and see if something in your life has changed in six months or a year where you can expand that goal or add another one.

I say that most—not all—things we do (or don’t do) are a choice because I respect that there are systemic, health, financial, and other factors at play. However, I do believe we can do something to move the needle—often more than we think is possible at first. It’s just a matter of committing to one thing at a time and letting that propel you forward.

Maybe you commit to staying on top of the laundry throughout the week.

Then that extends to committing to reading 100 pages of a book per week.

Then that extends to going on a walk three mornings a week.

Then that extends to doing 20 minutes of yoga two mornings a week.

Our goals don’t all have to relate or align…we just have to start with something. Start believing we can do one of the things we tell ourselves we can’t. Write it down. Schedule it out. Start small. Be flexible.

Once you realize you can do it, the freedom of true time management is exhilarating!

It feels really amazing for me, personally, to take charge of mine again. As I work down my self-made schedule for today, I feel like I can take a deep breath knowing I’m creating a life on purpose.