Your Home Is Shaping You Whether You Realize It or Not

What the science of subtraction has to do with the home you’ve always wanted to live in.

Have you ever walked into a cluttered room and instantly felt your shoulders tense up? Or cleaned off a counter and felt like you could finally breathe? That’s not in your head. That’s science.

I share a lot on this blog and in my podcast about how decluttering is a catalyst for intentional living. But my conversation with author Leidy Klotz gave me an entirely new language for why that’s true—and it changed the way I see my home, my past, and the legacy I’m building.

Leidy is a professor of engineering and architecture at the University of Virginia and the author of the brand new book In a Good Place: How the Spaces Where We Live, Work, and Play Can Help Us Thrive as well as the book Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less. Subtract is one of my favorite books on the topic of minimalism, so I was absolutely honored when I got to interview him on Paring Down!

Your Space Is Working For You (Or Against You)

Here’s the big idea: according to Leidy, our physical environments are in a constant relationship with three core psychological needs—agency, competency, and connection, which comprise Self Determination Theory. Our spaces either support these needs or silently undermine them.

Agency is that feeling of having some control over your world. Competency refers to the growth from learning what happens when we engage with our environment. Connection is how we bond with others—often through shared physical spaces and experiences.

When I heard this, I immediately thought about decluttering. Creating an intentional home isn’t just about aesthetics. It’s about reclaiming agency and competency. It’s about making your environment work for you instead of against you. 

The Subtraction Problem We All Have

Before diving into In a Good Place, Leidy and I talked about his previous bestseller, Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less—and its direct relevance to anyone on a decluttering journey.

His research found that when we want to improve something, our brains automatically jump to adding—more bins, more organizers, more stuff—when the real solution is often to remove. Sound familiar? Because our brains automatically want to add, we have to consciously build a habit of asking: What could I take away to make this better?

Subtraction Is the Secret to a Space That Actually Works for You

Here’s something I want to be really clear about: intentional living doesn’t look the same for everyone. Leidy makes this point beautifully in the episode, and it’s one I believe deeply too. A minimalist home and a maximalist home can both be deeply intentional. What matters isn’t how much you have—it’s whether what surrounds you is working for your life.

The question to ask yourself isn’t “do I have too much stuff?” It’s “does my space reflect how I actually want to live?” 

There’s a big difference between a home that’s been thoughtfully curated—even if it’s full and layered and colorful—and one that’s just accumulated by default, with things shoved in drawers and piled on surfaces because we never stopped to ask if they belonged there. One feels like you. The other feels like clutter, even if it looks fine on the surface.That’s the shift. Not minimalism for minimalism’s sake—but intentionality for the sake of a life that feels like yours.

> Ready to start decluttering today? Grab my FREE decluttering checklist here

If you’re interested in learning more about how subtraction and decluttering go hand in hand, check out Episode 150 of Paring Down or click the icons below.