No One Needs to Know You’re Generous

Since it’s the season of giving (is it though??), I want to talk a bit about the Western culture of publicizing our generosity.

Let me start by saying this: I think public generosity is better than no generosity. Maybe a post about raising money for a charitable organization will inspire more donations. Maybe making it look fun and cool to volunteer will bring in more volunteers. Or maybe there’s no benefit from sharing, but hey – at least that person got out there and did it, even if not entirely altruistic. I would say most people I meet want to do something of service to those in their community, but never get around to actually doing it. So doing it counts for something!

However, in the world of social media, more than ever I think we’ve lost a bit of the spirit of giving. In publicly patting ourselves on the back under the guise of “what a beautiful time” or “what an honor it was to…”, we are making it about ourselves. About our goodwill and good reputation. What if we quietly let those we’re helping be the only focus?

If you’re a Christian, this is actually a biblical principle we need to be very cognizant of:

Matthew 6:2-4 states: “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

The trumpets of ancient history are the Instagram posts of today. I even wonder if it’s also the galas, the dinners, and the auctions.

Before anyone gets too mad at me: I see the benefit of those things! It gives people a reason to show up and give– especially the wealthy. And like I already mentioned, public generosity is better than no generosity!

However, in an idyllic world, I’d like to think that we don’t need the excuse to get dressed up in a gown to consider ways we can give our money to other people. That we don’t need stuff ourselves in the form of an auction in order to give back. That the money spent on putting on these types of events would be beneficial additions directly to those who need the money for survival.

Alas, in the world we live in, it’s often worth the money fronted for the event in order to get even more money from the people who attend them.

But I’m going down a rabbit hole that I never meant to climb into…all I want to address is this:

How are you showing up generously in ways that no one knows about? 

This could be with your time, your money, or your talents. Do you take a picture of yourself volunteering and post it on the internet? If so, it begs the question of why. 

When I was younger, I had to put together a community service book showcasing all the ways I gave back to my community. Because I knew I had to put this book together as an assignment, I always took pictures when I attended charitable events or volunteered. Looking back, I am pretty ashamed that I was considering how I might build a better book rather than solely focusing on who I was helping.

We shouldn’t need an assignment, a competition, or a social event in order to give of the resources we have. 

Is time your only resource? You can wrap presents for kids at their local Children’s Advocacy Center.

Out of time, but can scrape up some money? No one’s stopping you from writing a check to an organization doing generous things.

Have a talent that could encourage someone? You can knit a hat for babies, sing some songs at a nursing home, or write thank you cards to public servants.

And here’s the thing…you can do any of those things without posting about it on social media. Or mentioning it at dinner with extended family. 

That’s my challenge for you this holiday season. Find an opportunity to make someone’s life better – in the Starbucks drive through, in a volunteer opportunity, in a donation – and then don’t tell a single soul.