Our Wedding: Minivans, Corsets, & Hijacked Ubers
I said I would write a post about our wedding, so this is me following through on my word. Take note, 2016 presidential candidates.
I’m going to tackle this wedding review in Question & Answer format, because organization is hard.
Q: What time did you start getting ready, and what did you do before the ceremony?
A: I always thought I’d wake up extremely early on my wedding day, like a kid on Christmas morning, but I underestimated Wedding Week Exhaustion. Therefore, I groggily woke up to my alarm at 7:30 a.m. and stayed in bed for about half an hour to read the 500 congratulatory texts I’d already received. Around 8:00, I showered and headed to the hair salon with two of my bridesmaids. Our hair stylist was a wizard, so all three of us were done in 45 minutes flat.
We were back to my parents’ house by 10:00 for makeup and brunch with the rest of the bridal clan. After downing more brie than one should consume on the morning of her wedding, I slipped into my dress, waited for my stepmom to graciously button all 999 buttons, and climbed into my parents’ very fancy minivan, which then took me to the church. You’ll learn during wedding planning that some things are just not worth $350. To me, a limo was one of those things. Throw me in a soccer mom’s dream car with my hilarious family and some show tunes, and I’m livin’ the conjugal dream. A little dog hair never hurt anyone.
Q: What was your favorite part of the ceremony?
A: Aaron’s vows and communion. Stay tuned– you’ll get to hear the vows on our wedding video, which should show up in my inbox in the next 2-4 weeks. Communion was incredibly special because I felt like Aaron and I got a chance to silently and privately contemplate the depth of our commitment, and dedicate our marriage to God because of His grace.
Q: Did anything go wrong?
A: The string quartet did not play my bridal music when I walked down the aisle. They were supposed to play Pachelbel’s Canon, but instead repeated the bridal party music (unclear why), which was How Great Thou Art. HGTA is my favorite song, though– and I was too busy staring at Aaron/trying not to cry, so I didn’t care.
Q: What did you and Aaron do after your ceremony?
A: While guests gathered outside to await the sword arch exit (another favorite part), Aaron and I went into a private room and exclaimed “We’re married!!” over and over. I also took out my contact lens and tried to clean makeup off of it.
Q: Were you cold during pictures?
A: No, it was 75 degrees in December. Amazing. I did almost pass out, though. I had prepared myself for overexertion and stashed a Nature’s Valley granola bar in Aaron’s pickup truck to eat on the way to take portraits (food=priority), but turns out, hunger was not the primary issue (for once in my life). I only began to feel better once my wedding coordinator undressed me in the parking lot and loosened my corset. Apparently, the corset’s only purpose was to keep me from breathing, since– according to pictures– I looked the EXACT same in my dress during the reception, when my innards were allowed in their rightful places.
I’d also be remiss not to mention The Great Shoe Disintegration of 2015. Aaron’s white uniform shoes were so rotted that they literally started falling to pieces during pictures. He made a trail of white powder and tiny fragments until his right sole was completely nonexistent. Luckily, one of the guys in the sword arch was only half a size larger than Aaron, so he gave Aaron his shoes to wear for the rest of the night. I’m still uncertain what the shoeless man wore on his feet during the reception, but– if you read this, sir– many thanks.
Q: What was your favorite part of the reception?
A: I cannot possibly choose. I loved eating dinner alone with Aaron at our sweetheart table, overlooking all of our loved ones and seeing what a great time everyone was having. I loved listening to my dad sing, watching Aaron dance with his mom, and laughing/crying during the Best Man/MOH speeches. I couldn’t get enough of dancing with my friends, dancing with Aaron, and soaking in all of the joy. At one point, Aaron and I went into the Bride & Groom suite for a quiet moment to ourselves, which was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. We expressed to each other how in love we were (are), why we were (are) so grateful, and reminded ourselves that this was IT. It was all happening, right outside those doors. Basically, it was the best night ever.
Q: Did anything crazy happen?
A: Apparently a blonde girl threw up on the dance floor at the very beginning of the night…but no one could point her out afterwards, and we’ve exhausted the possibilities on the guest list to no avail. Aaron thinks the story is a myth. I think we had a wedding crasher. Oh, also– my Phi Mu sisters lifted me onto their shoulders in an adrenaline-induced act of brute strength. That was pretty nuts, in my book. Especially since my wedding dress alone weighed more than any of the girls who picked me up.
Q: What is one thing you would have done differently?
A: Honestly, nothing. Everything went weirdly perfectly, and I’m so happy Aaron and I had a short engagement. I got stressed out for about two minutes at the reception when I was overwhelmed by all of the picture-taking, but I had roughly 15 friends immediately recognize my “I need wine” face, and was presented with a smorgasbord of wine glasses at an impressive rate of delivery. They all looked at each other in amusement when they flanked me at the same time with wine in tow. I LOVE MY FRIENDS.
Q: Did you and Aaron go to the after party?
A: Yep. I highly recommend designating an official after party venue for weddings, because the party kept rolling, and we did not want the night to end. After lots of beer, nachos, and general tomfoolery at our designated bar (open beer tab included– thanks for the amazing deal, O’Leary’s!), Aaron and I stole our friend’s Uber and made our way home. I only knew it was my friend’s Uber car because the driver answered her call on speaker phone, and I recognized her voice saying, “Um…it says you’re here, but I don’t think I see you..” Me: “HI LINDSEY IT’S SHANNON SORRY I STOLE YOUR UBER LOVE YOU THANKS FOR COMING.” Don’t worry, I Venmo’d her the next day.
Q: What did you and Aaron do when you got home?
